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Before he was born, his mother had a miscarriage at five months gestation. However, she had exacting standards, and when he failed to meet them she would tell him with contempt that he was disgusting, noisy and boorish and would send him to his room for hours on end.

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He felt supported and valued in a way he never had been before in his life. He began to feel that he could talk to people and that people could share with him.Soon enough, Steve found that pornography was not enough to sexually excite him.His use of digital devices to achieve sexual stimulation escalated.Every new video, picture, game, or person released more dopamine, aiding him to maintain lengthy periods of excitement through all of his looking, searching, fantasizing and anticipating.Steve reported that he could spend endless hours feeling intense arousal without becoming physically aroused or coming to orgasm.Steve reported that he once over-indulged in alcohol and drugs but that because of a serious accident on the job, he quit using substances.

However, over the next several months, he found that his urges to masturbate increased.

Steve felt lifeless and empty, devoid of energy, interest, or capacity of enjoyment.

The only thing that gave him a sense of aliveness was a sexual encounter.

For months after his wife declared that she was leaving, he found that his sexual fantasies and urges to masturbate were becoming more and more imperious.

He realized that if he did not masturbate, he would remain “horny” all day, which would make him feel restless, irritable and discontent.

From time to time, he would mention that Steve’s birth was neither planned nor wanted.