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Common conversational topics for narcissists include accomplishments and achievements (the trophy complex), exciting and envy-worthy activities, excessive focus on personal issues and concerns, excessive focus on looks and materialism, and putting others down to show one’s own superiority. Charming and Romantic – But with a Catch Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship, when they’re trying to win you over. Also, while you have time to think things through and he loves you so couples therapy can be suggested, or just counseling to help him deal with his narcissism.

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“He threw up against the wall hoping that something would stick,” she says.“If your handle is Scooby Doo, I don’t know what your name is, so when you’re introducing yourself, please tell me your name upfront. ‘I saw your profile and found such and such really charming, or I saw that you like to hike and I just came back from hiking the Appalachian Trail.’” Adds Robinson, “Referencing her profile shows that you read all the way to the end, and care enough to pay attention.” 3.Tell me Wendy bemoans the socially awkward guys who feel the need to float their entire life story before her.It doesn’t matter if you’re in your 20s and you’re interested in a woman in her 40s, but if the person you’re contacting clearly says in her profile that she’s looking for someone 35 to 45, and you aren’t even close, again, don’t waste your time, and don’t waste hers.” Next: Making contact [pagebreak] Bearing the Cardinal Rule in mind, once you’ve found the potential girl of your dreams and you’re ready to make contact, Robinson advises that you treat your initial message like an opening line at a bar. Was it hard to form sentences around someone so attractive?’ is more likely to lead to a real conversation.” Wendy, who actually posts to her Facebook status every time something absurd happens in her online dating saga, has developed her own three-pronged, winning formula that she both uses and responds to for contacting potential dates: 1. “You’d be surprised at how many people neglect to tell you their name,” she sighs. “Reference what it was that made you think you and she might have something in common that made you want to reach out to them.Nothing is more annoying than a guy who takes shortcuts.” She cites the following example: “Say I spend an entire paragraph talking about how one of my loves is spending time with my sister and rolling around with her two boys. ’ I’m like, ‘Can’t you even be bothered to read the whole profile? If the other person’s profile says, ‘I’m looking for long-term,’ and all you’re after is hooking up, give it a pass.

’ Or, I’ll have stated that if you do any drugs at all—even pot—you and I will not be a match, yet I hear from guys who are clearly into partying.” Wendy’s cardinal rule for online dating is this: Don’t waste your own time and don’t waste other people’s time. Similarly, if you want something more serious, and all she’s into is random play, move on.” Next: Scaling it back [pagebreak] The problem for many younger guys when choosing appropriate potential partners, notes Wendy, are “the shiny factor” and “single focus self-involvement lenses.” The most frequent offenders, in her experience, are twenty-somethings just looking to hook up or find some instant gratification. “They see a tremendous rack in one of my pictures, and they’re mesmerized, and I get the IM or email.” (In fact, commenting on a woman’s physical attractiveness right off the bat can actually be a turn-off, according to Robinson, since it can be read as superficial.

“What I would honestly tell you, flat out, is that just because don’t care,” says Wendy.

“Just because someone looks cool and has a good sense of humor doesn’t mean that a woman who clearly states, “I’m looking for marriage and children” is going to respond well to you … ’ doesn’t cut it, but something like, ‘I can’t believe you met Ryan Gosling!

If she or he tries hard to persuade you and wouldn’t let up, or shows signs of impatience, irritation, or anger (like a petulant child), take note. Rule Breaker and Boundary Violator The narcissist often enjoys getting away with violating rules and social norms, such as cutting in line, chronic under-tipping, stealing office supplies, breaking multiple appointments, or disobeying traffic laws. Threaten to withhold love and intimacy (such as it is). There are many possible reasons for a partner’s lack of commitment. Copyright violation may subject the violator to legal prosecution. please think twice about marriage....life could be so unhappy....... i'm sure there is a great guy out there for you that would treat you with love and respect....really do exist. I recently ended a 4 year relationship with an extreme narcissist and I didn't know how bad it was until I finally gave up on him.

― Anonymous narcissist In addition, pathological narcissists often show wanton disregard for other people’s thoughts, feelings, possessions, time, and physical space. Some are highly reasonable and deserve serious consideration. What distinguishes a narcissist’s lack of commitment is his or her desire to keep the status quo with you, reap the benefits of intimacy, while keeping an eye out for other, perhaps more eligible (in the narcissist’s view) prospects. is available as a presenter, workshop facilitator, and private coach. He over inflated his skills/accomplishments/etc, he thought he was an expert at literally everything, he constantly talked about himself and was actively disinterested in anything I had to say, he'd lie to "win" an argument, he'd throw a fit if something didn't go his way, to him every man looked up to him and every woman had a crush on him, he missed every birthday I had and every holiday.

A pathological narcissist loves to talk about himself, often in exaggerated and grandiose terms. I love him, we are supposed to get married next October but I feel broken. You can postpone if anything since you have to take care of your mother.