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They asked us to go to the store to get some things for them. They also had things they had not purchased for the baby yet.
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We just mentioned to our son that he could pay us back $300 whenever they were able. Now, months later, our daughter-in-law is extremely upset that we "demanded" that they pay us back when money was so tight and she'd just gotten out of the hospital.
We expect them to provide for themselves and their families. If we're not showering them with money or buying them things, then we do not love them and they cannot count on us; our love for her, our son, our grandson means nothing. If they were in trouble, we wouldn't hesitate to help out.
As a whole, we do not continue to provide for our adult children if they are capable of providing for themselves and their are not extenuating circumstances. We have raised them and provided for them and they are now adults.
I know they have no problem buying the things that they want or need. We will not be talking about it anymore, because it will never happen again.
We will not pay for things like this and will not allow this situation to arise again. DO NOT get into a situation where the child is only with the mother in China (when the child is older) if there are any marital difficulties...could annex the son with almost no effort. If they live in Shenzhen they are a bit well-to-do so that is great, but they are probably from somewhere else like Chongqing or Jinan, etc...to find out.
It is a trend that no one can ignore; sitting around the picnic table in the mornings with 6 farm families and their significant others home for a week in the summer, over half of the sons present had married Chinese or Korean girls.// A lot of the gossip was concerned with money; the girls had access 'to everything' bank accounts-wise, the girls were sending money home to their parents, etc.